Length of Love
by Spike Speigel1
Summary: Sara and Grissom continue their conversation. Spoilers for Formalities. Fourth installment now posted.
1. First Call

Title: Length of Love

Author: Spike Speigel

E-mail:

Rating: PG

Classification: Grissom/Sara

Disclaimer: As usual, these characters don't belong to me. Just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Swap Meet.

Summary: Sara and Grissom finish their conversation.

Status: Finished

Sara tossed in her bed, sleep eluding her like the needle in the proverbial haystack. She turned over to her back; her arms now nestled above her head and between the headboard. Rays of sunlight continued to force their way through her blinds, the air circulation from the AC unit gently shuffling the blinds to and fro, allowing said sunlight to peek into her bedroom. She knew she should get some sleep since she was on call in a few hours, but try as she might, she couldn't fall asleep.

She frowned slightly, a sigh of frustration escaping her lips. Her head turned to its side, her eyes fixing on the phone on her night counter. Her arm moved of its own volition, the phone in her hand before she realized it was there. Sara pondered the phone in her grasp, her gaze taking in the minute features. She could see the keys on the face slightly illuminated, the plastic antennae slightly worn. Silly habit, really. She'd bite the antennae when she shuffled through her take-out menus, as though it was the most important decision of the day. If she made the wrong choice, it could be the difference between life and death.

Another sigh. Once upon a time, she'd thrown away all of those multicolored menus. But, old habits did indeed die hard, Sara falling back into her habit like a relapsed smoker. She pushed the thought away, her thumb hovering over the TALK button. She hesitated for a moment before her thumb came down, the dial tone humming softly through the earpiece. Her thumb moved to the number keys, beginning to punch in a phone number before she paused in mid dial. She shook her head slightly as though she was trying to silence the voice in her head that was screaming to her that this was a bad idea. Before she knew it, the number had been dialed. Sara brought the phone to her ear, the line continuing to ring. As she was about to hang up the phone, the other end finally answered.

"Grissom." Her voice caught in her throat, her mind finally comprehending what she had just done. "Hello?"

She exhaled softly before responding. "Hey, Grissom."

There was dead silence over the line, Sara beginning to regret calling him in the first place. She was about to make up an excuse for her call, but she never got the chance. "Hello, Sara. What can I do for you?"

Just like that. No inquiries about work. No hesitation in his voice about a call that for all intents and purposes he shouldn't even be getting at this hour. Just a normal, casual voice.

"Well, it's silly, really. But…"

"I'm sure it's not silly. Besides, you already have me. Might as well tell me why you called."

Sara shook her head, slightly perplexed at his choice of words. Refusing to obsess, Sara continued. "I can't sleep."

"And, you're hoping a conversation with me will do the job?"

Sara laughed softly, enjoying the playful nature the conversation had taken. "Well, that wasn't my initial thought, but if you think it'll help…"

Grissom returned the laugh. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"You're sure I'm not bothering you?"

His answer was succinct. "You're never a bother." Sara smiled at his words as Grissom continued. "So, tell Doctor Grissom what ails you and he'll recommend the best course of action."

Another smile was his reward. Sara was thankful that Grissom couldn't see the effect he was having on her at the current moment. "I've just been thinking about humanity in general."

"Anything specific?"

Sara placed her free arm behind her head, gazing at the ceiling as she spoke. "Do you think there's any hope for us?"

Grissom clicked his tongue, unsure about the question. "In what sense?"

"I see a fifteen year old girl kill her stepmother over what's undoubtedly a fling and I'm left wondering, why do we even bother? It's all pretty much futile when you get right down to it. Right?"

"Sara, I never pictured you as a defeatist."

She spoke before she had a chance to compose her thoughts. "Lot of things you don't know about me."

"What?"

She covered as best she could. "Nothing. Just thinking out loud." She waited for him to push the subject, but was relieved when he didn't. "Look, maybe this was a bad idea. I'm going to go."

"I don't think it's a bad idea. In fact, we really don't talk that much outside of work." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Maybe this is a good time to start." Sara's hand ran through her hair as she tried to comprehend his words once again. Who was on the other end of this line? Because it certainly didn't feel like the Grissom she knew. Then again, this wasn't really a bad thing. "But, honestly, I know what you mean. There are times I wonder the same thing."

"So, what do you tell yourself when you're faced with that nagging doubt?"

His answer was honest, if anything. "If I don't speak for the victim, who will?" He could hear her laugh on the other end, somewhat perplexed by the response. "What's so funny?"

"Not funny. It's just…"

"Yeah?"

The silence remained for a moment before she filled it. "You're the only man I know who can say a line like that and actually sound sincere about it."

Grissom chuckled nervously as he spoke. "Is that a compliment, Ms. Sidle?"

"Always."

His voice was serene, gentle. "Thanks."

Her voice matched his, the intimacy clearly evident to both of them. "You're welcome, Gil." Unfortunately, the moment was lost by yet another awkward silence.

"Um, was there anything else? Because I should really try and get some sleep before shift."

"Oh, nothing. Nothing really. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me prattle on."

He smiled slightly. "Anytime. And Sara?"

"Yeah, Gil?"

"Feel free to call if you just want to, you know…talk."

Sara laughed softly, Grissom returning it in kind. "I will. Night."

"Good night, Sara." As Grissom was about to hang up the phone, he could hear Sara's voice emanating from the earpiece. Grissom pulled the phone back up to his ear. "What was that?"

"I did have a question."

"What's that?"

"Earlier, I asked you if you thought they were happy? The swingers?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"So, you never answered the question. Do you think they were happy?"

Grissom pondered the question for a moment before replying. "I think happiness is different for different people. So, yes. I think they were indeed happy with their lives given their situation."

Sara took in his answer, another question emerging. "So, if you were in that situation, would you be happy?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Truth is, I'm not sure. I can tell you what does make me happy."

"Yeah? What's that?"

The answer was one she would have never expected. "Talking to you."

Sara's smile was now a full-blown grin, Sara trying her best to keep her composure. "You know, if a girl didn't know better, she might think you're trying to seduce her."

The playfulness was evident, but the tone was something else. Something more intimate. "Only trying?"

His reward was a hearty laugh, Sara wondering to herself the last time she'd smiled this much in her life. "Good night, Gil."

"Good night, Sara."

Before Grissom could hang up the phone, Sara spoke. "Hey, Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy when I talk to you too. Just in case you were wondering."

Grissom grinned slightly. "Sweet dreams, Sara."

"Sweet dreams, Gil." With that, Sara hung up the phone. Well, she still couldn't sleep. But, the reason for the insomnia was different than before. Now, Sara couldn't sleep because she couldn't get the image of Grissom from her mind. Sure, it was only a phone call. But, to her, it was more than that. She couldn't really put her finger on it, but as her eyes fluttered closed, the smile was clearly evident on her face. She was indeed happy.  
  
_Fin_


	2. Second Call

Title: Length of Love

Author: Spike Speigel

E-mail:

Rating: PG

Classification: Grissom/Sara

Disclaimer: As usual, these characters don't belong to me. Just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Swap Meet.

Summary: Sara and Grissom continue their conversation. Second call.

Status: Finished

* * *

It had been another routine day at the lab. So much so, that Grissom had gone home early since he was almost caught up on his paperwork. Couple that with no outstanding cases, and Grissom had heeded Catherine's advice to finish his paperwork at home. Hell, even the boss deserved a breather once in a while. Although Grissom was somewhat certain that Catherine wanted the practice of heading up the lab in the interim while she waited for word about the dayshift opening, he didn't mind it that she wanted to get a feeling for the position. After all, it was because of her that he was currently in his townhouse instead of his office finishing paperwork. Besides, although he'd never admit it to anyone in the lab, he really wanted some time to decompress. To just sit and not think about the evils of humanity. To just sit and not think.

So, here he was, sitting in front of his computer, doing, of all things, checking his e-mail. While his lab account was checked daily per routine, he very rarely checked his personal e-mail. After all, he really didn't know anyone that'd e-mail him outside of the lab other than his mother. So, he checked his inbox at least once a week just to make sure his mother had written to him. Usually, she was pretty consistent, sending an e-mail once every two weeks. And, according to Grissom's count, this wasn't the week for correspondence. But still, just to be sure, he checked.

However, before his inbox could load, the phone began to ring. Grissom turned away from the computer monitor, moving to his right to answer the phone. Upon picking up said phone, he answered as cordially as was in his nature.

"Grissom."

The voice on the other end was both a surprise and a welcome distraction. "I never would have believed it if I didn't hear it. Catherine told me you went home early. Guess I'll have to apologize to her tomorrow for calling her a liar."

Grissom chuckled softly while he spoke. "What can I do for you, Sara?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to see what you were doing with your time off."

"It's not exactly time off. I do have paperwork to complete."

Sara smirked slightly. "Of course you do."

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you didn't believe me."

Her tone was playful as she responded. "Perish the thought."

A smile emerged from the corner of his lips as he continued. "So, what are you up to?"

"Nothing much really. Just got in. I'll probably order dinner and mess around on the computer before I call it a night."

The curiosity was evident in Grissom's voice as he spoke. "Mess around?"

"Oh, you know. Surf the web. Check my e-mail. Stuff like that." Sara thought about her response before making an addendum. "Or do you know?"

His response was civil yet teasing at the same time. "Yes, Sara. I do know how to surf that thing you kids call the web. And your automocars don't frighten me anymore once I got the hang of them. Just in case you were wondering."

This elicited a hearty laugh from Sara, still attempting to catch her breath as she spoke. "Automocar?"

"I do watch shows other than what's on the Discovery Channel."

"But, the Simpsons?"

Grissom grinned slightly. So he wasn't the only one in this conversation that was a fan. "What can I say? Homer's a man after my own heart."

"Loud and obnoxious?"

The answer wasn't one Sara was expecting. "Family man."

"Oh."

"Something wrong?"

She spoke, her voice gentle. "No. Nothing wrong. It's just…" She took a breath before continuing, trying to compose her thoughts. "It's just, I never knew you thought about things like that."

"Sara, I may seem to be xenophobic to the casual observer, but I'm really just an ordinary guy when you come right down to it."

"An ordinary guy? That's funny."

Grissom spoke, his curiosity piqued. "How so?"

The honesty in her voice was unmistakable. "You're anything but ordinary to me." Both remained silent, neither knowing exactly the right words to say. Sara thought she'd crossed a line that she thought was still in play while Grissom, who once upon a time would have told Sara that the conversation had become inappropriate, found himself considering her words as well as a suitable response. Unfortunately, before he could come up with one, Sara finally spoke. "So, uh…what are you doing right now? Unless I'm interrupting your paperwork, that is."

Grissom sighed softly, somewhat relieved, somewhat disappointed that he didn't get a chance to respond to Sara's previous comment. "Actually, I'm messing around on the computer."

"Let me guess, an entomology website?"

Grissom laughed softly. "You know, I should be offended for being egregiously stereotyped like that, but I'll let it go." He could hear Sara trying to stifle her giggle on the other end of the phone as his chair swiveled back toward the computer monitor. "But, if you must know, I'm checking my e-mail."

Sara queried with a casual tone. "Anything interesting?"

"No, not rea…" That's when he saw it. Instead of the empty inbox he expected to be awaiting him, there was one solitary message waiting his perusal. He clicked on the inbox icon, the name attached to the message one he didn't expect to ever see again.

"Grissom? You okay?"

"Um, yeah. Hold on a sec?" He read the name once more, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. He looked at the date stamp. It was only two days old. He was so focused on the e-mail waiting for him at this point that he almost forgot that he was talking to Sara. That was, until she whistled into the earpiece.

"Earth to Grissom. Helloooooo."

Grissom stirred from his near hypnotic trance, his voice wavering as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Sara. It's just…" He didn't bother to finish his thought.

"Just what?"

His voice was monotone as he spoke. "Teri Miller."

The puzzlement in Sara's voice was apparent as she spoke. "The forensic pathologist?"

His answer was concise as he finally opened the e-mail. "Yeah."

"Are you calling her in for another case?"

Grissom began to read the message that Teri had sent him, speaking only in simple sentences at this point. "Uh, no. No."

"Grissom, are you okay? You sound…" Sara really couldn't put her finger it, but something had changed during the course of the conversation. "You sound, I don't know…different."

He continued reading, alleviating Sara's concern as best he could. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

A moment of silence passed as he finished reading Teri's e-mail. "Yeah." Another moment passed until Grissom spoke once more. "Sara, can I ask you a personal question?"

Sara thought about the request before answering. "Of course."

"Did you love him? Hank. Did you love him?"

Sara pondered Grissom's query, taken aback by the intimacy of the question. Nonetheless, she answered frankly, solemnly. "I thought I did. But, no matter how much you want something, it's not going to work if your heart's somewhere else." She sighed, frustration tinting her voice. "I'm sorry. I'm probably not making any sense."

Grissom continued to stare at the e-mail, his attention now fully invested in his conversation with Sara. "It's okay. I think I know what you're trying to say."

Sara nodded absentmindedly, her mind still going over Grissom's question. That's when it hit her. She hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Did you love her?"

She expected him to brush the question away as he did so many other personal questions posed to him in the past. That's why his answer startled her to the degree it did, his answer eerily familiar to hers. "I thought I did."

Sara's breath caught in her throat, unsure of whether she wanted to continue along this direction. Unfortunately, she was already too far in. She had to see where this was going, if not for herself, for Grissom. "So, what does she want?"

His voice was somber as he spoke. "She's recently divorced. She wants to have dinner. For old times' sake."

Sara's voice remained soft, timid, as she spoke. "Um, that's good. Right?"

Grissom smiled slightly as he hit the reply button on the e-mail. He began to type his response. "Sara?"

Her voice faltered as she tried to mask her insecurity. "Yeah, Griss?"

His fingers continued to move deftly across the keyboard. "You haven't had dinner yet, correct?"

The confusion was evident in her voice as she answered his question. "Uh, no. I was just about to order some Chinese. Why?"

Grissom's fingers finally stopped, his hand moving to the mouse, the arrow hitting the send button. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Her heart stopped. Yes, it was finally official. She'd died earlier and this was all some beautiful, cruel fantasy. "Dinner?"

"Dinner."

She stumbled for a response, hoping she was as coherent to Grissom as she sounded in her head. "Uh, sure. Yeah. I can do dinner."

Grissom smiled at her nervousness as he continued. "This Chinese place. Do they have dine-in as well?"

"Um, hold on. I'll check." Grissom could hear a slight rustling of paper before Sara came back on the phone. "Yeah, they do."

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"There?"

Grissom grinned slightly at the question. "Your place. You'll have to show me where it is since it's likely I've never been there."

"Oh, okay. I'll…I'll be waiting."

"See you in a bit." As he was about to hang up the phone, Sara's voice emanated from the earpiece, Grissom bringing the phone up to his ear.

"But, what about your paperwork? Didn't you want to finish it?"

His answer was to the point, his voice serene. "It'll keep."

Sara smiled upon hearing his words, her voice matching his. "Okay. I'll be here."

"Okay."

With that, Grissom hung up the phone. He looked at the computer screen for a moment, thinking about what had just transpired. A smile emerged on his face as he placed the computer in sleep mode, never looking back as he made his way out of the townhouse. He'd seen what the past had to offer. It was time to see what the present had to show him.

_Fin_


	3. Third Call

Title: Length of Love

Author: Spike Speigel

E-mail:

Rating: PG

Classification: Grissom/Sara

Disclaimer: As usual, these characters don't belong to me. Just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything before and including What's Eating Gil Grissom.

Summary: Sara and Grissom continue their conversation. Third call.

Status: Finished

* * *

After Kevin Greer's suicide, Grissom kept mostly to himself for the rest of the day. At first, Sara had thought that he just needed time to think, but when he remained in his office after shift change, she realized that something was wrong. There was no doubt that the case had affected everyone involved at one level or another, but she had never seen Grissom this…detached? Even with the Paul Millander case, Grissom had treated it as just another case, even when Millander had tried to make it personal. So, that was why Sara was having trouble figuring out why this case was having such a profound effect on him.

She had debated stopping by his office before heading out, but thought better of it. They had finally began talking again, being amicable to one another once more. If he wanted to talk, he knew her number. After their impromptu dinner, she believed in her heart that if he wanted to talk, he'd call her.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself. In the back of her mind, she was really wondering what if Grissom was just giving her what she wanted? Just enough to appease her, but not enough for it to be meaningful.

Sara tried not to think about it, instead losing herself into the latest issue of Forensic Magazine. Just because she was off the clock didn't mean she had to leave the job behind. She was particularly fascinated by one of the feature articles, Microbial Forensics, which focused on possible implications in a bioterrorist attack. Sure, biological attacks were the last thing Las Vegas had to worry about, but it couldn't hurt to be somewhat versed in the subject.

Unfortunately, the ringing emanating from the phone interrupted her. She reached across the couch, her attention still on the article, when she picked up the phone.

"Hello?" There was silence over the line, Sara's attention waning from the magazine in her lap. She waited for a response, but one never came. "Hello?" At this point, she made an educated guess as to who was on the other end of the line. After all, he was the only one that she'd been talking to recently on the phone. "Grissom?"

Finally, the silence subsided. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I…"

She stopped him before he could convince himself that this was a mistake. "It's okay. I'm not busy. What's up?"

He hesitated for a moment before answering her question. "It's nothing, really. I just…" Sara wasn't certain if Grissom had finished his thought or just let it fade away.

"Just what, Grissom?"

He sighed softly, a hint of frustration in his voice. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

Sara subtly smiled at his words, her voice soft. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"Just…just talk to me?"

Sara curled her legs beneath her as she continued. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

She could hear something different in his voice as he spoke. What was it? Sorrow maybe? "Anything. I…anything you want."

"Okay." Her back pressed against the cushions of the couch, her head tilted to one side, practically lying on her shoulder, as she thought of a suitable topic. "Have you read the Fall volume of Forensic Magazine yet?"

This elicited a small chuckle from Grissom, his tone less somber than before. "And here I thought I'd be the only one who'd ever ask that question."

Sara matched Grissom's chuckle. "Hey, you said anything. I just thought you'd feel more comfortable talking about something familiar is all."

"You're familiar." Her mouth opened slightly as though she was trying to speak before she closed it once more. She'd heard the words, but she wasn't sure what he meant. After all, Grissom was the master when it came to misinterpretation. "Sara?"

"Yeah?"

She could hear him audibly groan as he spoke. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Sara leaned forward, finally realizing what Grissom was trying to say, even without the words. "What's wrong, Gil? Talk to me."

Even though he laughed, Sara could hear the insecurity laced within. "I thought that's what I was doing."

Her voice never wavered. "Gil. Talk. To. Me." She sighed softly, her hand running through her hair. "I'm not asking you to let me in. Just…just tell me what's on your mind. Just give me something. Anything, so I can help you."

Another awkward silence permeated the line, Sara about to speak. Fortunately for her, Grissom beat her to the punch. "I don't think I have anything to give."

Her initial observation was correct. The Greer case was indeed bothering him. "I'm not sure if I followed you around that corner. What do you mean you don't have anything…" She never got the chance to finish the question.

"I look at Greer, and I wonder what makes him all that different than the next guy? What makes him different than me? He was just a normal guy." He lowered his voice, the confusion evident. "A normal guy."

"They're all normal guys on the outside, Gil. It's what's on the inside that makes you who you are."

"What if there's nothing there?"

Her voice was tender as her heart began to ache for him. "If there wasn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You wouldn't be letting this get to you like this. And you wouldn't have cared what I thought."

His voice matched hers, the honesty clearly evident. "I always care what you think, Sara."

She smiled at his words. "I know you do. I was just trying to make a point."

"Which is?"

Grissom could hear the lightheartedness in her voice as she answered him. "You're a helluva guy. Even if you don't seem to think so."

Grissom chuckled softly, cynicism lacing his words. "Give it time. You'll figure it out eventually."

"Figure what out?"

"What a bastard I really am."

She never hesitated as she spoke. "I know, Gil. Or have you forgotten last year."

Grissom sighed, beginning to regret his response to Sara's compliment. "No. No, I haven't."

"But, you know what?"

"What?"

"I still know you're one of the good ones, even if you can't see it."

Grissom smiled at her words as he spoke. "You're never going to give up on me, are you?"

Sara answered, certainty in her tone. "Not a chance."

His voice was gentle as he responded. "Thank you."

"Nothing to be thankful for. It's what friends do."

"Guess I should be thankful for having you for a friend then."

"You and me both." Both shared a gentle laugh. Then, as an afterthought. "Hey, are you busy?"

The puzzlement was evident in his voice. "No, not really. Why?"

"I was going to take a run through Baker Park later. Wanna tag along?"

She could hear the uncertainty in his voice as he answered her question. "Sara, I'm not really the runner type."

"Then, how about a leisurely stroll?"

Grissom chuckled softly. "I can do a stroll. When?"

He could hear the playfulness in her voice as she spoke. "How's now work for you?"

She was rewarded with another gentle laugh. "Rather well, actually."

Sara returned with a small chuckle of her own. "Okay, see you in a few minutes?"

"I'll be there."

The line went dead, Sara returning the phone to its charger. She smiled slightly as she rose from the couch, making her way to the bedroom to change into appropriate walking attire. She hadn't a clue what was happening between the two of them, and she really didn't care. All that mattered to her for the moment was that Grissom opened up to her, and that meant more to her than he'd ever know.

_Fin_


	4. Fourth Call

Title: Length of Love

Author: Spike Speigel

E-mail:

Rating: PG

Classification: Grissom/Sara

Disclaimer: As usual, these characters don't belong to me. Just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything before and including Formalities.

Summary: Sara and Grissom continue their conversation. Fourth call.

Status: Finished

* * *

Just because his eyes were closed didn't necessarily mean he was sleeping. While sleeping during the day was normal to people that worked at night and college students whose sleep cycles had been ravaged by various excesses, there were those rare moments when Grissom couldn't get to sleep, no matter how hard he tried. Sure, his body was fatigued beyond belief, but his mind. Now, that was a different story.

Because, at this point, his mind was racing. Only problem was, he wasn't really sure why. Grissom shifted his position on the couch, moving from his side to his back, his forearm swinging languidly over his brow as he tried to shield his eyes from the errant rays of sunlight that had the audacity to enter his domicile when sleep continued to evade him. Grissom began to contemplate whether sunlight had sentience on a microscopic level, pondering for a moment before dismissing it completely. When his mind was firing on all cylinders, he'd contemplate pretty much anything, as long as it kept his mind busy. Just like the time he wondered if it was actually possible to hear pudding a la Homer Simpson.

Needless to say, it was a welcome surprise when the telephone began to ring, Grissom bolting upright before the first ring had a chance to be completed. He was already in the kitchen once the second ring began as he picked up the cordless, thumbing the red flashing TALK button. He'd talk to anyone at this moment. Even telemarketers. Just as long as he didn't have to think.

"Grissom."

Unfortunately for Grissom, it wasn't a telemarketer. However, upon hearing the voice on the other end, he concluded rather quickly that this was the better alternative. "Hey, Grissom. I didn't wake you, did I? I know you just got off work and…"

He interrupted Sara before she could finish an apology that wasn't necessary. "It's okay. I'm up. So, how are you enjoying your time off so far?"

He could hear the uncertainty in her voice as she answered his question. "Oh, it's good, I guess. Just had some stuff I needed to take care of. Sorry to bail on you, but this needed my immediate…"

Once more, he cut her off before she made an unwarranted apology. "Sara?"

"Yeah, Grissom?"

"Stop apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong." Then, as an afterthought. "At least, not that I know of. You haven't done anything wrong, have you?"

Sara chuckled softly while she mock defended herself. "No. No, I haven't."

"Then you don't need to keep apologizing. Okay?"

She relented to his reasoning. "Okay."

"Besides, we've been managing in your absence. Even worked with someone from dayshift."

Sara's tone turned inquisitive, genuinely curious about the CSIs that fathomed to walk in the sunlight. "Yeah? How'd that go?"

"I'd have to use the word…" What was the right word? He searched for an adequate description before responding. "Different."

"Different? How so?"

"Well, you know when we work a scene, we only talk to each other when there's something relevant to the case?"

"Yeah."

"Let's just say the dayshift people work in a completely different manner." Grissom realized that he was generalizing, so he decided to be more specific. "Well, maybe not all of them, but when Sofia was working the scene, she just kept on talking to herself while she was…"

Grissom never noticed the quizzical tone in Sara's voice as she queried him. "Sofia?"

"I'm sorry. Sofia Curtis. She's one of Ecklie's people…"

Sara scoffed softly, a hint of disdain in her voice. "So, can you see the horns on her forehead or are they just vestigial at this point?"

Grissom laughed softly at Sara's question, a small smile playing on his lips. "Haven't decided yet. She can be annoying one moment but quite insightful the next."

Sara sighed softly, a hint of sarcasm in her voice as she spoke. "Well, if you're that enamored with her, why don't you just marry her?"

"You're kidding, right? I can barely relate to a head of cabbage, let alone people. And you foresee wedding bells? Hate to say it, Sara, but you don't know me as well as you'd like to think."

While Grissom's tone remained playful, Sara's had become somber. "What can I say? You're a difficult man to relate to, Grissom." The silence hung in the air uneasily while each tried to think of a possible response. It was at this moment that Grissom finally realized that he'd opened his mouth, his foot fitting rather well. As he tried to find the words, Sara eventually broke the silence, her voice solemn. "Anyway, the reason I called was about this e-mail from Ecklie. Swingshift's personnel are being transferred to another department. So, does that mean that we'll be getting new people to fill those positions, or is Ecklie looking internally? Because I really don't want to be transferred from nightshift."

Grissom stroked his chin purposefully with his thumb, his brow furrowed as he responded. "Sara, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You didn't get the announcement from Ecklie?"

Grissom's tone now matched Sara's, his mind beginning to race once again. "No, Sara. I didn't."

Sara could hear the genuine concern in his voice, his worry now becoming hers. "What does this mean then?"

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke, uncertainty still lacing his words. "This means that you're going to go back to enjoying your time off while I get to the bottom of this."

She didn't mean to snap at him, but given her current emotional state concerning her personal problems, the last thing she needed was condescension on his part. "Don't."

"Don't? Don't what?"

"Dammit, Grissom! You always do this to me and I'm tired of it. Why do you keep pushing me away when I try to…" She wanted to say 'get close', but given the fragility of their current relationship, she thought it best not to make things more complicated than they already were. "…to help."

Grissom sighed softly, Sara's words working their way into his consciousness. "I'm sorry, Sara. I didn't mean it like that. It's just…you don't have to be concerned about office politics. That's my job. Your job is to catch the bad guys. I just don't want to burden you any more than you already are. That's all."

Sara smirked at Grissom's words, the sincerity in his words unsuspectingly moving her. "Yeah, I know. But just because it's your job doesn't mean I…" A slip of the tongue that needed to be rectified. "…we can't help you. We're a team, Grissom. What good's a team if you can't place your faith in us?" She sighed, a hint of frustration in her voice. "You don't have to bear the weight of the world alone."

Grissom smiled at Sara's words as he spoke. "Message received, Ms. Sidle."

"Good. So, do you want me to help you?"

"Sara, do you remember when I asked you what you did for fun when you weren't on the job?"

Her voice wavered as she spoke, curiosity in her tone. "Yeah. Why?"

"Did you ever find something to occupy your time outside the lab?" Her silence was all the answer he needed. "Sara, will you do something for me?"

"Um, sure. What…what do you need me to do?"

"The Sahara. Twenty minutes?"

The puzzlement remained in her voice, still not following his train of thought. "The Sahara? What…?"

Grissom spoke, not waiting to hear her question. "You said you wanted to help me. Well, I can't sleep. My mind's preoccupied for some reason or other."

"And the Sahara enters the equation how, exactly?"

His voice remained gentle as he answered. "I want you to take a ride with me on a roller coaster. Speed, to be more specific."

Sara's voice matched his tone, confusion still evident. "A roller coaster?"

He responded, sincerity in his voice. "Maybe this can be your thing."

She grinned at Grissom's words, the corner of her lips threatening a smile. "Maybe."

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"Grissom?"

"Yes, Sara?"

"What about Ecklie?"

His tone feigned innocence. "What about Ecklie?"

Sara sighed into the phone, a small laugh following. "What am I going to do with you?"

"So, twenty minutes?"

Sara conceded defeat. The man couldn't sleep. So, she'd help him out by taking a roller coaster ride with him. Baby steps, she kept reminding herself. When the time came, he'd ask for help with Ecklie if he really needed it. But, for now, she was content to help put his mind at ease. "Twenty minutes it is. See you in a bit. Bye."

"Bye, Sara."

As he placed the phone back into the cradle, he leaned against the island, his mind racing. Ecklie had kept him out of the loop. There was no chance that was a mistake on his part. But, what would swingshift have to do with his people? It wasn't like they interacted in any meaningful fashion. But, still, he had been kept out of the loop.

And then there was Sara. He could tell that something was bothering her while they spoke. Unfortunately, she hadn't asked for help, so he had no choice but to leave her be. He wished that she trusted him enough to let him in, but trust was a two-way street. How could she trust him when he didn't trust himself entirely? He hated the politics of his position. He hated the rift it had created between himself and Sara. He hated himself for hurting her. But, most of all, he hated the fact that he couldn't ask her for help when she had offered. How could he after what they had gone through last year?

Grissom shook his head slightly, cursing his mind for conjuring up these thoughts. Instead, he focused on the here and now. And, right now, he had a date with a roller coaster. He smirked at the thought as he picked up his keys and began to walk in the direction of the front door. For a second there, he almost thought he had a date with Sara.

_Fin_


End file.
